


One-Dollar Shot

by brooklinegirl



Series: Assholes in Love [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklinegirl/pseuds/brooklinegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is entirely inspired by a) Sinsense's <a href="http://sinsense.livejournal.com/375855.html">asshole!Frank fic</a>, which is perhaps one of the funniest things I've ever read. And b) by mrsronweasley's thoughts on how asshole!Frank really, really needs to meet a girl who can out-asshole him.  Which is what I wrote.  Asshole!Frank is <a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y246/traceynick/excellent.png">this guy right here</a>, and I have to say I love him kind of a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One-Dollar Shot

**Author's Note:**

> Beta thanks to mrsronweasley, who just kept making it DIRTIER.

So Frank goes to this bar, only it's sort of less skeezy than the ones he usually chooses but whatever. The place he's at isn't high-class or anything, but it doesn't have dried vomit on the seats, either, and it has one dollar shots of Jager on Tuesday nights, so that's awesome.

And he's at the bar and he's got a few shots lined up and this little fucking twat with her hair dyed platinum fucking blonde but with, like, the black roots half grown out, reaches out and _takes one of Frank's shots_. And _downs_ it. And Frank is all, "Oh, _hell_ , no," and grabs her wrist, all, "Sweetheart, you never touch a man's liquor."

And she says, sweetly, "Maybe _you_ don't," and drinks _another_ one of his shots and he growls at her, tightening his hold on her wrist, and she fucking wriggles against him and says, "Do it harder, bitch."

Frank yanks her close, hard, and says darkly, "Suck my cock, cuntface."

"Awesome." She drinks his last shot. "Let's go. I swallow."

Frank can feel his eyes go wide, but she's dragging him to the bathroom – the fucking _ladies_ room – and shoves him into the handicapped stall, locking the door behind them and getting down on her knees on the fucking filthy floor and undoing his jeans with one hand, which he has to say is kind of awesome. He grabs her hair hard, yanking her face into his crotch, and she fucking moans and sucks him in all the fucking way, first mouthful. "Jesus Christ," Frank gasps, banging his head back against the door.

She pulls off him, jacking him with one hand. "I know, right?" She yanks his jeans down further, leaving him bare-assed against the skanky wall but this chick is deep-throating him so hey, he'll deal. He's got his hands fisted in her hair, and he's shoving his cock down her throat. She's hanging onto his hips and he's all, "Yeah, you better fucking hold on," and then she slides her hands down and oh fucking hell what the fuck what the _FUCK_ sticks her _finger_ up his _ass_ , and he comes in her mouth.

He yanks her off his dick as soon as he can fucking breathe again. "What the fucking fuck, bitch?" He shoves her away, and she leans back on her heels, wiping at one corner of her mouth with her thumb.

"You loved it," she says, shrugging.

"Fuck you, you fucking whore." Frank yanks his jeans up. His cock is still tingling. So is his ass. Fucking _whore_.

She gets to her feet without using her hands. She's tiny, but like, _built_ , all curves and hips and a great fucking rack. Frank fucking hates her. "Sweet mouth, baby," she says, and leers at him. "You ready to reciprocate?"

Frank doesn't even know what that word means, but he's not doing _dick_ to this cuntwhore. "Fuck off," he snarls, and bangs his way out of the stall. There are three chicks at the sinks, and they're all staring at him in the mirror. He growls at them, and zips up. "Suck it," he says, shoving the door open and heading out.

"I think she already did," he hears one of them say, and they break into giggles and he fucking hates his life. Fuckers. FUCKERS.

***/p>

A week later and he's back at the bar, mostly because: one dollar shots. He's not looking for anything, just fucking _Jager_ , but she's there, of course she's there, because his life fucking sucks. He's not going to go up to her or talk to her or look at her or _anything_ , he's just here for the _shots_ , okay, but somehow by the end of the night he's fingering her tight, wet pussy under her skirt right there at the bar while she sucks on the side of his neck. When they get kicked out, she makes out with him up against the front glass window of the bar.

He takes her home with him, and she climbs on top of him on his messy unmade bed and kisses him in this totally filthy way. He shoves her skirt up and puts his fingers in her and she says, "Do it harder," and fuck yeah, so he does. Then he's all, "Get on my cock," and she says, "Yeah, no, we're doing it my way this time."

He says, "Fuck that, sugar," and she looks down at him and says, "Dude, I'm on your _face_."

Which, yeah, okay, she is. She says, "It's not gonna lick itself," and digs her fingers into his hair and yanks him up and he almost comes in his pants, and fuck it, he goes all up in there. She rides him like a pony and soaks his face when she comes. Then she climbs off and gets on her knees beside him, legs spread and waiting. "Well? Come on."

"Oh yeah," he says, shoving his jeans off. He gets up behind her and grabs her hip with one hand and his cock with the other.

She looks at him sharply over her shoulder, her hair covering one eye. "Not in the ass. You try that, I'm outta here."

Frank sighs. "Okay, got it." He's hard as a rock and confused as hell, but he fucks her there against his dirty sheets as she fucks back against him and arches her back and she's got the greatest ass he's ever had the pleasure to hang on to. They make enough noise that the neighbors start pounding on the walls to get them to shut the fuck up. She fingers herself as he fucks her and when he comes, slamming into her hard, she groans, "Fuck yeah, cocksucker."

He thinks he might be falling in love.

He falls asleep drooling against her tits and when he wakes up blearily in the morning, she's gone, and he still doesn't have her fucking number. He doesn't even notice the huge hickey she left on his neck until he's in the coffee shop and can see it reflected in the fucking _window_.

He fucking hates that girl. He doesn't even know her name. He wonders if he'll see her again.

Frank resolves not to go back to the pussy bar where the hot girl hangs out. He doesn't need one dollar Jager. He can buy a bottle of Jager at the store and it'll be fine. Which he does and he sits at home on his lumpy couch drinking shots and eating Ring Dings and throwing the wrappers on the floor while he watches the Project Runway marathon on Lifetime. He's yelling at the TV for Tim Gunn to kick that super faggoty designer's _ass_ when his doorbell rings.

He brushes chocolate off of his black t-shirt and does up the button on his jeans, then answers the door. It's the hot annoying girl. She lifts her chin at him. "Sup? Wanna do me?"

He blinks. "Fuck, yes."

She's pretty fucking tiny and has to reach up to grab his hair, standing on her toes as she drags his head down to hers and sticks her tongue in his mouth. She kisses him till he's dizzy and when he drags his head away, finally, she's got her hand down his pants and is humping his thigh. "You wanna do it in the doorway?" she asks. "Because I don't think your neighbors like me anyway, but I really don't give a fuck."

He drags her inside.

In the bedroom, where he's changed the sheets (not just in case she showed up, but – what the fuck ever, okay, a dude likes clean sheets every once in a while), she goes willingly when he pushes her down onto the mattress. She pulls her legs up and she's not wearing any panties under her skirt. She gives him a smirk, and she lets him eat her out, her legs over his shoulders while he's kneeling on the floor, her thighs squeezing against his ears so hard he can barely hear her moans. He sticks two fingers up in her while he licks, and she comes twice in a row, loud and messy, then pulls Frank up onto the bed with her, and kisses the fuck out of him before he even has a chance to wipe his face off on the sheets.

He fucking loves this girl, Jesus.

"My turn," she says, when she finally lets his tongue out of her mouth, and Frank says, "Oh fucking hell, yes, it is," and rolls over onto his back, hands behind his head, ready for his blowjob, Mr. DeMille.

She's sits up beside him and wriggles out of her skirt, kicking it aside. Her top's unbuttoned and she's got no bra on, so the girls are roaming free. He can see the tattoo she has high on one hip, and she's looking at him like he's stupid. "Roll over," she orders.

What? "What?" he says. "Fuck that."

"Fuck _you_ ," she says with an evil smile, and she's a fucking tiny thing, but has muscles like nobody's business, and she's got him on his stomach on the bed in no time flat. He fights a little, but she straddles his back, and her pussy is wet against him, and her nails are sharp on his back. He groans, rocking his cock against the mattress, and she says, "Good boy," and licks her way down his back, which, okay, he's not going to argue about.

"Fucking fuck you," he mumbles against the mattress, but her tongue is hot and wet against him, and he's gonna try to titty-fuck her as soon as he can get her to let him turn over.

"Oh, sweetheart, you don't even know," she's saying against his skin, and then her tongue is on his ass, and that's weird, and then her hands are pushing his ass cheeks apart and he's struggling to get up, but she fucking _pins him down_ with one huge hand – seriously, she must have, like, _man-hands_ \- at the small of his back. And then oh holy fuck what the fuck no fucking _way_ she is licking him. There. She is licking him _there_. She is fucking _licking_ his _ass_ and girls don't do that, or shouldn't do that, and fuck him, he's never actually met even a _guy_ in real life who does that and what the fucking fuck, who the fuck _is_ this girl, he doesn't even know her _name_ , and she is _licking his ass_.

"Fuck," he groans desperately, his face mashed into the bed, because oh my fucking god, she is making him lose his fucking mind. "Jesus Christ."

She doesn't even let up, she is just eating him _out_ and he's never felt anything like this in his entire life and his whole fucking body feels hot and shaky and he doesn't even know what to do with himself. His hands are clenched in the sheets so hard they ache and his hips are moving down against the bed and up against her mouth, and his cock against the sheets and her fucking tongue against – or, okay, _in_ his fucking ass, oh my god, he might just die. He can't fucking breathe and he's shaking like a girl and then he's _coming the fuck apart_ against the bed, shaking and coming all over himself and maybe, he thinks, fucking dying because he really, really doesn't know how he's ever coming back from this, Jesus God.

He doesn't know how long he's out – it takes him a while to open his eyes, and then a while longer to even focus, and when he finally does, right in his field of vision is the hot girl, on her back next to him, her fingers buried between her legs, stroking herself rough and fast and getting herself off with an obnoxiously loud groan right there next to his fucking face.

"Jesus," Frank says with the side of his face still crammed against the sheets. "Who the fuck _are_ you?"

She sighs, and pulls her fingers out of her pussy, and licks them. Fucking _licks_ them. "Jamia," she says, when she pulls her fingers out of her mouth. "I'm Jamia."

"Fuck, Jamia," Frank says, grabbing her hand and sucking her fingers into his own mouth. "I’m Frank," he mumbles around them. "And you're awesome."

"I know," she says smugly. "Wanna tit-fuck me?" She holds her boobs together and looks at him with one eyebrow arched.

He is pretty sure he's seeing stars, here. "Give me five minutes," he says, holding up one hand. "And I'll come all over you."

"Excellent." She swings herself out of bed. "Let me know when you're ready, I’m getting myself a beer out of your fridge."

Frank watches her hot ass heading down the hall. She still has her boots on. "I fucking love you," he breathes.

"I heard that," her voice comes down the hall.

Frank? Doesn't even fucking care. His life is _awesome_.

the end 


End file.
